At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
