Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
