I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
