Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
