Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
