i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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