Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
