I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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