between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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