I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize