That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
