I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
