Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
