idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
