I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
