Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize