so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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