She said her name was "party"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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