Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
