I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
