Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
