I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
