He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dick very happy bro
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
