you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
