I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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