she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
