I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
