Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
