using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
