In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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