is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
