we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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