I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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