He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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