Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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