Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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