why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
