She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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