RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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