Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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