Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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