you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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