If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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