i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
