That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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