please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
