I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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