You're my little dorito
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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