So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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