how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
