This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
