I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
