i just had sex bonerless
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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