she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
