sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
