I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
