I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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