What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
