no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
