i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish you could order shots online.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
