Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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