i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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