The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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