I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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