I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
