and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize