It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
