If i come over, it means nothing
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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