Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
